Self-confidence as a manager: How to develop a confident demeanor
- Dr. Stefanie Huber
- 2 days ago
- 9 min read
Confident leadership does not begin with methods, tools, or strategies—it begins with the leader themselves. Confidence and genuine self-awareness do not come from outward appearances, but from inner clarity, self-perception, and the ability to lead oneself and regulate one's emotions. Modern leadership research clearly shows that if you want to be an authentic and successful leader, you must first understand who you are, how you react, and what drives you internally.
The most important facts in brief
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Contents
1. What does confidence and self-assurance mean as a manager?
Confidence and self-assurance in leadership are often confused with buzzwords such as assertiveness, natural authority, or charismatic presence. But true confidence—and thus genuine self-assurance as a leader—does not come from the surface, but from within.
From a psychological perspective, confident leadership encompasses three core qualities:
Inner stability: Remaining capable of acting as a leader even in stressful situations.
Authenticity and self-congruence: Making decisions that are consistent with one's own values and self-image as a leader.
Regulatory ability: Consciously controlling emotions, impulses, and stress reactions – instead of being guided by them.
This shows that self-confidence as a leader does not mean being loud or dominant, but rather leading from a stable inner foundation. Confident leaders appear clear, present, and trustworthy because their decisions are based on inner orientation – not on insecurity or compensation.
2. Self-leadership: Why confident leadership always begins with you
The term self-leadership describes a manager's ability to consciously control their own thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns. The Harvard Business Review has been emphasizing for years that leadership begins with self-leadership. Only those who know who they are and how they tick can lead others effectively.
Self-leadership is based on three elements:
Self-awareness: Understanding one's own values, beliefs, strengths, and patterns.
Self-control: Consciously directing energy, attention, and emotions.
Self-responsibility: Taking one's own impact on others seriously – instead of blaming external circumstances.
This inner architecture is crucial in determining whether a manager acts confidently and self-assuredly – or appears reactive, impulsive, and driven.
3. Values and identity as the foundation of inner leadership
Every manager acts based on an inner architecture—even if they are not aware of it.
This inner architecture includes:
Personal values
Beliefs about oneself and leadership
Self-image as a leader
If these fundamentals are unclear, leadership appears inconsistent. Decisions are difficult to make, behavior fluctuates, and trust within the team remains fragile.
If, on the other hand, values and identity are clearly defined, inner orientation emerges. Managers make more coherent decisions, appear more authentic, and experience less inner pressure because they know who they want to be as leaders and what they stand for.
Confident leadership therefore always begins with the question: “What is my inner attitude as a leader?”
4. Self-perception as the key to confident self-awareness
Self-awareness – in the context of leadership – is the ability to observe one's own experiences in real time: thoughts, emotions, physical signals, and behavioral tendencies.
A distinction is made between:
Internal self-awareness: What is happening inside me right now?
External self-awareness: How do I come across to others?
Research shows that most managers significantly overestimate their self-awareness. But without precise self-awareness, there can be no further development – and no genuine self-confidence.
Key questions that strengthen self-awareness:
What triggers stress or insecurity in me?
What patterns do I exhibit in conflicts?
How would employees describe my impact?
This clarity is crucial because you can only control what you perceive.
5. From self-awareness to self-control
Self-awareness is the starting point—but self-control determines whether a manager acts confidently or reactively.
Self-control means:
Regulating impulses
Consciously directing emotions
Using attention in a targeted manner
Managing one's own energy responsibly
Confident self-awareness arises precisely at this point between inner experience and the conscious decision of how one wants to lead. Self-leadership does not mean having everything under control, but rather developing inner freedom – the freedom to consciously choose how one wants to act.
6. Emotional self-regulation as a core competency of modern leadership
The ability to regulate one's own emotions is one of the strongest predictors of successful leadership today. Research from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, the MIT Sloan Leadership Lab, and the Harvard Business Review consistently shows that leaders who can regulate themselves lead more clearly, calmly, and effectively—and are perceived by their teams as trustworthy and confident.
Emotional self-regulation does not mean suppressing feelings. On the contrary, the task is to perceive emotions, classify them, and control them in such a way that one's own behavior remains consistent. Moments of uncertainty arise when emotions dominate behavior—not when feelings are present.
This skill is crucial for managers for three reasons:
It prevents impulsive and reactive decisions.
It stabilizes the team atmosphere because emotions are contagious.
It enables presence, clarity, and the ability to act even under pressure.
This makes it clear that self-confidence as a manager does not come from external strength, but from internal regulation.
7. Empirical findings on self-confident leadership
Recent studies clearly show how strongly self-regulation and self-awareness influence team and company performance.
Managers with high self-regulation:
are more often perceived as competent, stable, and trustworthy
resolve conflicts more quickly and constructively
create a climate of psychological safety
reduce stress, turnover, and absenteeism in their teams
make better decisions in uncertain situations
A key area of research focuses on the concept of “emotional contagion.” This describes how teams automatically adopt the emotional state of their manager—through facial expressions, voice, and body language. An insecure, stressed, or irritable manager unconsciously creates an insecure, stressed, or irritable team.
Confident leadership, on the other hand, manifests itself in positive ways: clarity, inner calm, constructive energy, and presence are also transmitted—and have a performance-enhancing effect.
Self-confidence is therefore not only an individual resource, but also a structural element of good leadership culture.
8. Neuropsychology of leadership: Why inner clarity arises when the brain is regulated
Confident behavior is no coincidence — it can be explained neuropsychologically. At its core are three systems that control the experiences and behavior of managers:
The prefrontal cortex
It enables:
rational thinking
impulse control
change of perspective
strategic decisions
It is the part of the brain that makes confident behavior possible.
The amygdala
The emotional alarm center. It reacts automatically to stress, criticism, uncertainty, and threats. When it “takes over,” the result is:
impulsive reactions
avoidance tunnel vision
increased susceptibility to errors
This is precisely where a manager loses composure.
The autonomic nervous system
It determines physical stress reactions—heartbeat, breathing, tension—and unconsciously sends this information to the outside world. Teams sense these signals long before they are expressed.
Neuropsychological essence:
Confident leadership means regulating your own stress responses in such a way that the prefrontal cortex remains active. Only then are clarity, self-confidence, presence, and composure possible. That is why self-confidence is not just a mental or emotional state, but a neurobiological process.
9. How a lack of self-confidence becomes apparent
A lack of self-confidence in managers is rarely obvious—it manifests itself subtly in behavior, decisions, and team dynamics. These patterns are not personal weaknesses, but rather an expression of a lack of clarity, self-awareness, or self-regulation.
Typical behavior patterns:
Conflict avoidance: Decisions are postponed and critical conversations avoided. Teams interpret this as insecurity or a lack of consistency.
Overcontrol and micromanagement: Leaders intervene too much instead of building trust. This is often driven by the fear that mistakes might become visible.
Excessive toughness or dominance: Strong control, authoritarian behavior, or a harsh tone are often compensation strategies for underlying insecurities.
Perfectionism and decision paralysis: Fear of making mistakes leads to endless checking and safeguarding of decisions. Speed and momentum are lost.
Adaptation instead of clarity: Leaders align themselves with others’ expectations rather than acting according to their own values and priorities.
Emotional withdrawal: In stressful situations, leaders become “invisible” — appearing distant, overwhelmed, or emotionally absent.
These patterns arise when a manager's inner foundation is not stable enough. They are not a sign of incompetence, but rather an indication that self-management, self-confidence, and inner orientation need to be further developed.
10. Boosting self-confidence as a manager: Effective approaches and training methods
Self-confidence is not an innate trait—it can be trained. Managers can develop, deepen, and stabilize it by consciously working on their inner clarity, perception, and self-regulation.
Effective ways to do this:
Reflection and self-awareness:
Regular reflection routines—e.g., journaling, structured thinking, or guided reflection—create clarity about inner patterns and values.
Use feedback:
Impact feedback from the team, 360-degree feedback, or coaching reveals blind spots that managers rarely recognize on their own.
Conscious breaks and “quiet time”:
Regular moments without input promote connection to one's own experience – a basic principle for self-awareness and regulation.
Breathing and embodiment techniques:
The nervous system is the key to confident behavior. Breathing exercises, short embodiment interventions, or micro-breaks stabilize it effectively.
Solution orientation instead of problem focus:
A manager who asks themselves, “How can we solve this problem?” instead of “Why is this happening?” strengthens their self-efficacy and that of the team.
Consciously using strengths:
Those who know their own strengths and use them in a targeted manner develop natural self-confidence and inner security.
Allow yourself to make mistakes:
A healthy culture of error—for yourself and others—is one of the most important levers for sustainable self-confidence. Learning comes from experience, not perfection.
Self-confidence grows when a manager shows courage, takes responsibility, and acts with inner clarity.
11. How coaching helps managers build self-confidence
Coaching accelerates the development of self-confidence and composure because it reaches areas that managers rarely recognize on their own. A coach offers a professional outside perspective, reveals patterns, and creates a safe space for clarity and personal growth.
Managers benefit in particular from:
Precise reflection: Patterns, blind spots, and obstructive beliefs are identified more quickly
Self-clarification: Identity, values, and leadership role can be consciously defined
Regulation training: Techniques for emotional stability increase presence and impact
Accelerated development: Changes that would take months on their own are structured and sustainably anchored
Coaching is therefore not a “nice-to-have,” but rather a strategic development tool that sustainably strengthens inner confidence, clarity, and a confident demeanor.
12. Conclusion: Self-confidence comes from within – impact comes from without
Confident leadership is not a state, but a process of development. Confidence comes from clarity, self-awareness, an awareness of values, and the ability to regulate one's own nervous system. This inner work has an outer effect: presence, stability, orientation, and trust. Leaders who are good at leading themselves lead others more easily, clearly, and humanely. They create spaces where teams feel safe, take responsibility, and can perform to their full potential.
The essence is this: self-confidence as a leader starts with you—and changes everything around you.
13. About me – Dr. Stef Huber
I am an executive coach with a background in psychology (degree) and many years of management experience, including at BCG and SAP. My training at Erickson International (named the most influential coaching provider by the International Coaching Federation in 2024) and Harvard University enables me to take a scientifically sound, modern approach to leadership development. I support executives in developing inner clarity, self-confidence, and confident self-management. In my work, I combine psychological depth with a strategic perspective and practical methods. The result is coaching that does not stop at insights, but generates measurable changes – in behavior, leadership style, and personal impact.
14. FAQ – Frequently asked questions about self-confidence in managers
How does self-awareness develop in leaders?
Through inner clarity, self-perception, and the ability to self-regulate. It is less innate than trainable.
What is the difference between self-awareness and self-confidence?
Self-awareness means knowing yourself well. Self-confidence describes the belief that you can successfully accomplish tasks. The two reinforce each other.
What role does self-leadership play in leadership?
Self-leadership is the foundation of confident leadership. If you cannot lead yourself, it will be difficult to lead others clearly, calmly, and authentically.
How can I recognize a lack of self-awareness?
Typical signs include conflict avoidance, overcontrol, perfectionism, insecurity, conformity, impulsive reactions, or decision-making blocks.
Can self-confidence be learned as a manager?
Yes, through reflection, feedback, self-awareness, neuropsychological regulation techniques, and professional coaching.
How long does it take to build self-confidence?
Initial changes often become apparent after a few weeks of consistent self-management. More stable patterns emerge over the course of months.
When is coaching useful?
When insecurity, stress, excessive demands, or recurring patterns make leadership difficult—or when a manager wants to specifically develop their identity and impact.
15. Further sources
Online
Emotional Intelligence, Leadership and Work Teams – PMC
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10543214 Open-Access-Review zu emotionaler Intelligenz und Führung.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Effective Leadership – ResearchGate
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/383324508_The_Role_of_Emotional_Intelligence_in_Effective_Leadership Frei zugängliche Studie zur Bedeutung von EI für wirksame Führung.
Leadership Development & Emotional Intelligence – ResearchGate
Analyse zum Zusammenhang von EI, Selbstregulation und Performance.
How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence – Harvard Professional
Praxisnaher Überblick zu Self-Awareness & Selbstregulation.
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Effectiveness – PMC
Einblick in den Einfluss emotionaler Intelligenz auf Leadership unter Stress.
Self-Awareness as a Key Leadership Skill – REPAM Journal
https://repamjournal.org/index.php/REPAM/article/view/103 Studie zur Rolle von Selbstwahrnehmung im Führungskontext.
Literatur
Daniel Goleman (2011): Emotional Intelligence.
Fundamental work on self-awareness and self-regulation.
Brené Brown (2018): Dare to Lead.
Practical approach to courageous and clear leadership.
Manfred Kets de Vries (2009): The Leader on the Couch.
Psychodynamic perspectives on leadership behavior and self-image.
Marshall Goldsmith (2015): Triggers.
About triggers, automatic reactions, and self-control.
Kegan & Lahey (2009): Immunity to Change.
How inner blockages prevent confident leadership and how they can be resolved.
Boyatzis & McKee (2005): Resonant Leadership.
The connection between mindfulness, emotions, and effective leadership.
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